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Thank you, thank you. This means a lot to me. It means I'm old. Ha, ha. Hollywood called me, asking me "How much to do a movie with Catherine Zeta-Jones?" "I said $50,000." They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said "I'll pay it!" Ha. Catherine Zeta-Jones's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look. Yes. Yes.
But seriously, I miss Mel Gibson's acting -- as often as I can. How 'bout that. You folks see some of these other movies out there? Roman Polanski's wife told him that she thought his "Pianist" was too long. But seriously. I went to see "The Hours." It wasn't too good, but it promised what it delivered. Seriously, folks. Talk about long. I went to see "Lord of the Rings," but I couldn't find that dancing Irish guy anywhere. Ba-dum bump. Ha! I saw Woody Allen's "Hollywood Ending." Not the movie, I mean his career. I'm kidding, Woody. I love ya. And I'd like to recommend "Jackass: The Movie." It inspired the word "Cut!" Ha, ha, ha. I saw the "Secretary" and I tell ya, if I was her boss, I'd be C.E.O. of Micro-Hard! I kid, I kid. Heh? What? What do you mean I'm dead? I can't be dead -- Oh. Oh, I am dead. Shit. That sucks. Take my life. Please. Ha, ha, what? Nothing? Tough crowd. |
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