"SEM ORDNILAP YTIR BELEC": CELEBRITY PALINDROMES! BY TSAOR TOP EEKNAY "Lisa Bonet ate no basil." — Lenny Kravitz, summing up their last lunch date. ""Men, I'm Eminem!" — The rapper, upon entering prison. "Yes, sir—Romeo foe: Morrissey." — The singer reaffirms his asexuality. "Damn! I, Agassi, miss again! Mad!" — The Tennis player, after being exposed to gamma rays. "To Idi Amin: I'm a idiot!" — G.W.B. "Oprah deified Harpo." — Uma. "No, Mel Gibson is a casino's big lemon." — The pope, clairifying what he meant by "It is as it was." "Vanna, wanna 'V'?" — Pat Sajak, getting randy after six rounds of Maker's Mark. "Is Don Adams mad? (A nod.) Si!" — Director of Mexico's Nick a Noche. "Age, irony, Noriega." — G.H.W.B., recalling good times. "To Jay Leno: Lonely? A jot." — E-mail subject line from Johnny. "O.J. nabs banjo. " — Headline in Brentwood local paper. "Not sin; Aniston." — Brad Pitt, explaining the black eye. "Draw? Oh no, Ron Howard. " — Henry Winkler flunking art class. "Nobel? No, miss, Simon Le Bon." — The Duraner mistaking the prestigious ceremony for the MTV Europe Awards. "Flog sad loser Al Gore. Zero glares, old as golf." — Bill O'Reilly, reporting the 2000 election. "So, G. Rivera's tots are Virgos. " — Madame Lydia, astrologer to the 'stars.' "Depardieu, go razz a rogue I draped." — Ridley Scott, directing the actor on set of 1492. "Alan Alda stops racecar, spots ad: "Lana—L.A."" — NBC executive pitching a midseason replacement series. "Set at serif, as Safire states." — From the New York Times Manual of Style & Usage "Sis, ask Costner to not rent socks "as is."" — ???? "Tarzan raised Desi Arnaz' rat." — Lucille Ball, explaining why her cat's tail is a bloody stump. "E. Borgnine drags Dad's gardening robe." — Chapter 3 of the unauthorized biography, Ernest: The Man, the Myth. "Toni Tennille fell in net. I, not!" — The Captain, drunk again. "T. Eliot nixes sex in toilet." — The poet approving the musical adaptation of Cats. "Gustav Klimt milk vats—ug! " — The worst part of art-history class. "O, Geronimo; no minor ego." — Chief Crazy Horse on hubris. "Plan no damn Madonna LP! " — Guy Ritchie advising the D.J. "Yawn. Madonna fan? No damn way!" — Sean Penn's acceptance speech. "Wonder if Sununu's fired now." — Kissinger, finally replying to old messages. "So Mariah Carey, a LP, a player a chair, Amos!" — Andy, setting up a game of musical chairs. "Drat Sadat, a dastard!" — Old Yiddish proverb. "Drat Saddam, a mad dastard!" — Old Yiddish proverb. "Oh, no! Don Ho!" — The state of Hawaii "Sir, a plan, a canal; Paris." — Rick Salomon's director's commentary "Tupac caput! " — How the news was broken to Biggie. [ Palindromes were compiled from various sources throughout the universe; only Morrissey, Eminem, Aniston, Howard, Paris, Tupac were original Y.P.R. creations; further Google searches revealed that Eminem and Howard are already out there.] Write to Y.P.R. Write for Y.P.R. Right on, Y.P.R.