MUMBO JUMBO REGARDING COPYRIGHT INFORMATION, PRIVACY POLICIES, TERMS OF SERVICE, & OTHER LEGALESE © INFO Contributing authors retain any and all rights to their work, complex rights far beyond our very limited comprehension of international copyright law. If your are one of our many good-looking contributors and you have the chance to publish your work, or you get some sweet deal, you know, some big Hollywood movie option with a percentage of the backend on overseas returns and right of first refusal on ancillary products like sequels and spin-offs and merchandising, not to mention domestic licensing royalties, or something like that, then we say, “Groovy for you, pal.” If your work is indeed to appear on another Web site, in print, or tattooed upon some sucker’s body, that’s A-O.K. with us. All that we ask is for a teeny, tiny nod of recognition, something small and modest like, “This work originally appeared on Yankee Pot Roast (www.yankeepotroast.org), an online journal of literary satire run by some very smart & handsome men.” And the credit can be written really small and unobtrusively too, maybe just like 14-point type. PRIVACY POLICY? Y.P.R. has no “policies” regarding privacy, but if it means anything to you, there is nothing but the utmost respect for your privacy to be found here at Y.P.R. HQ. We all need some “alone time” now and again, and whatever you do within your own home is your business. We do not use cookies, and even if we wanted to, we wouldn’t know where to start. HOW ABOUT TERMS OF SERVICE? Making the beast with two backs, doing the nasty, making whoopee, splitting the kipper, going for a roll in the hay, the old rough and tumble, having a turn on one’s back, a bit of a crumpet, the ol’ bouncy bouncy, a little how’s your father, having some front-door work, a bit of flat, having a squirt-and-squeeze, taking ol’ one eye to the optometrist, driving the meat truck into tuna town, a knee-trembler, Adam-and-Eveing it, a turn of the screw, a taming of the shrew, hit the sheets, hop in the saddle, bagging, banging, shagging, ballin’ the jack, the bawdy banquet, the old in-and-out (real savage-like), poontang, pootie-tang, poonani, booty, nooky, nobble, quimsy, a poke in the whiskers, polishing your ass on the topsheet, do-si-doing, driving Miss Daisy, a push in the bush, putting the devil into hell, laying pipe, fixing the plumbing, spelunking the cave, making the beast with one front, glazing the donut, bumping uglies, rogering. Wow, that was wholly unoriginal, uncreative, and rather vulgar. Sorry. SOME SORT OF DISCLAIMER? Maintaining such stratospheric quality and momentum on a more-than-daily basis is rough stuff and the constant pressure frequently drives Yankee Pot Roast’s editors to drink. In rare moments of creative desperation, Y.P.R. has posted material that references personalities, products, or services in the public eye. These proper nouns are used satirically, and we bet there are probably some laws that protect that. Watch this: “Viacom has purchased the Nazi party.” See? No lawsuits! No cease-and-desist letters. Nothing. “Pepsi Twist causes ovarian cancer.” Zilch. “Star Jones eats newborn babies.” Nary a letter or phone call. And she’s a lawyer! Madeline Albright likes it in the behind. Ha, ha. That one was just for fun. Yech. Anyway, the good thing about the Internet is the Delete bu Write to Y.P.R. Write for Y.P.R. Right on, Y.P.R.