[ * Great Scott! New Guff! This is heavy. * ]

[ * Greater Scott! New Soapbox! This is even heavier! * ]

S P O R T S    O R I G I N S BY BOBBY RUFFERTO Boxing While simple "fighting" has been an entertaining distraction since prehistoric times, modern boxing was invented in London, England, in 1740 by two chaps both named Gregory. GREGORY: What a lovely afternoon. What shall we do to pass the time, old chap? GREGORY 2: I know! Let's punch each other in the face until one of us falls down! GREGORY: Splendid! Can we wear our mittens? GREGORY: We simply must! And the rest is history. Golf Golf was invented by brothers Scottie and Mac MacScotson in Glasgow, Scotland, in 1611. SCOTTIE: Mac! Did ye see that? I just flipped my penny into yer glass o' Glenlivet! MAC: Ach, ye stupid fool! Ye've rooned me fine scotch whiskey with yer filthy pocket change! SCOTTIE: Ha! I can do it again! I'll do it from over that sandy trap, beyond those hills, and using this metal backscratcher to whack that dimpled rock into yer cup! MAC: Aye, it's a bet! But first, I owe you three black eyes! Two now, a third when one heals! And the rest is history. Hockey The NHL was founded in 1910 by Becky Magillicutty and Rosie Woods, two ten-year-olds from Toronto. BECKY: I want to go figure skating! ROSIE: I want to play shuffleboard! BECKY: Figure Skating! ROSIE: Shuffleboard! BECKY: Hey… are you thinking what I'm thinking? ROSIE: Yay! And the rest is history. Wrestling The WWE (née WWF) was organized in Lexington, Kentucky, by two toothless hillbillies and their dog, Wilbur. JESSUP: Know whut I hate about classic Greco-Roman rasslin' ? ZEKE: The uncomfortable, homoerotic images caused by two nearly naked men hugging and sweating? JESSUP: Naw, I jest hate that you can't wear a cape or face paint or pointy elf shoes. Rasslin's jest no fun if y'all ain't lookin' like some cartoony character. Ain't that right, Wilbur? WILBUR: Arf. And the rest is history. More wonderful DAILY PIECES