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AF: Mr. President, I’m not sure you have the correct use of the word. GB: Who’s the president, Ari Atari? AF: With all due respect… GB: Respect or not, who’s the tax-package-proposing, Texas-big-swinging-dick, ride-or-die President of the United States? AF: Do I really have to answer this, Sir? GB: You want me on that wall; you need me on that wall! AF: All right already, all right. No more Nicholson quotes, please. A Texan doing Nicholson is like listening to Andrew Dice Clay woo Rapunzel. GB: Rapunzel, that’s that Gwyneth Paltrow-looking long-haired nursery rhyme chick, right? AF: Sort of, Mr. President GB: What’s that you said Ariola? AF: I said ‘Sort of, Mr. President,’ Mr. President. GB: That’s right Ari. I am the motherhonkin’ President. You see me land that jet last week? AF: I believe it was more like you landed in a jet, not landed it yourself. GB: Whatchu talking bout, Willis? AF: That’s like saying you drove the roller coaster. GB: I did that too. AF: Oy vey- GB: What’s that mean, Ari Safari? AF: It’s Yiddish, it’s similar to when you say ‘oh brother’. GB: Who, Jeb? AF: Never mind, sir. Let’s get back to the task at hand. GB: Right, the speech. Now I was thinking I could just always resort to the whole ‘at least I don’t fellate, heh, heh, I mean relate with my interns’. AF: ...and this is the problem, Sir. I think you do want to relate with your interns; that would be a good thing. What you want to say is ‘At least I don’t have relations with my interns.’ GB: …. AF: Yes, Mr. President. GB: Then the joke doesn’t make any sense. I can’t say, ‘At least I don’t have fellations -- I mean relations.’ It sounds stupid. AF: Well…. GB: Listen Ari-a 51, the President needs to show the public a little humor, you know? AF: You are actually planning on making that joke in public? GB: In public? Hell, I’m going to do it on national TV. Ah, I said ‘Hell’ -- now I said it twice! Two bucks in the swear jar! AF: I’m at a loss, sir. GB: Hey Ari, are you Jewish? AF: Is that relevant? GB: Who’s the President? How’s that for relevance? AF: I think I might hate you sir. GB: Don’t hate the player, hate the game. AF: I hate both, sir. GB: Oh Ari, so sorry. Tee hee. AF: That’s it, I quit. GB: Really? AF: Really. GB: Can you get me my chicken potpie first?
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