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LITERARY INFERNO

DAILY PIECES   |   FEATURES   |    LETTERS

FRUIT SALAD   |   GUFF   |   W.U.W.T.?

BIRTHDAY CARDS TO CELEBRITIES

SOAPBOX   |   FOR FURTHER READING


May 28, 2003       |       Today's Terrorist Threat Level: Orange, we think.       |       Happy Birthday, Kylie Minogue!

[ * Well, surely you've noticed something's different around here. To find out what's what, go to our Soapbox and read all about it.

And, when done, why don't you tell us how you feel about what is up with that.

New stuff, sure, but what of the old? Do we have new Letters? Yes, there are new Letters this a-way. What about new Guff? Yup. New Guff over here. Features? Right here, just a few hours late for Memorial Day. Birthday Cards? Daily Pieces? Yes, yes, of course.

Enjoy. ]

Jeepers!

N O T   S U I T A B L E   F O R
A L L   A G E S


BY
YOKO "PUFFY" RINGWALD



ANIMALS THAT WERE NAMED BY VERY IMMATURE ZOOLOGISTS

Ass
Cock
Tit
Booby
Pussycat
Sperm Whale
Dung Beetle
Beaver
Woodpecker
Macaque
Swallow

CHILDREN'S PLAYTHINGS THAT SOUND LIKE ADULT "NOVELTY" TOYS

Erector Set
Slinky
Tiddlywinks
Tinker Toys
Lincoln Logs
Pogo Stick
Slip 'n' Slide
Hello, Kitty
Kerplunk
Mr. Mouth
Hungry Hungry Hippos
Give-A-Show
Shrinky Dinks
Twister
Koosh Balls
Li'l Dominatrix Playset

MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS RECOMMENDED FOR MATURE MUSICIANS

French horn
Fiddle
Piccolo
Slide whistle
Viola
Pipe
Flute
Organ
Sax
Vibraphone
Woodwinds
Bongos
Glockenspiel

NICK AT NITE,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

Leave It to Beaver
Father Knows Best
Good Times
Gidget
Gunsmoke
The Dick Van Dyke Show
B.J. and the Bear
The Odd Couple
I Dream of Jeanie
Who's the Boss
Growing Pains
Joanie Loves Chachi
Diff'rent Strokes
My Two Dads
Blossom




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