The entirety of French cinema is vastly overrated. The New Wave might have been groundbreaking in its day, but Breathless, Jules et Jim, et al, are tedious, toothless snoozers. Amélie is twee and cute and an hour longer than it needs to be. What’s the complete opposite of snooty and pretentious? How about: kickass kung-fu, swordplay galore, a monster on the loose, oodles of horror and gore, conspiracies left and right, and some steamy boudoir erotica. Set in Revolution-era France, there’s some terrifying lupine beast lurking in the shadows, eating hookers and peasants and scaring the shit out of everyone on screen and in the audience. And instead of talking about boring things in subtitles, almost every character engages in anachronistic kung-fu fighting in mud and rain, sped up and slow-mo’ed as per standard post-Matrix fight choreography. And, since all French films need a little tasteful nudity, the exquisite Ms. Monica Bellucci provides as an alluring Italian prostitute. UR: -31