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"Ten bucks? I don't know... Well... You look like an honest sidewalk showman..." "I bet I could eat a whole bucket of clams..." "Oooh, look: a black kitty with a white stripe...!" "Hey, look at that puppy! He must've finished a whole box of powdered donuts...!" "Sure, you can pay me in Internet stock...!" "Wait, wait -- you're telling me all I have to do is mail 100 dollars to these ten people and send a letter asking for the same to these hundred people, and I'll be a millionaire in six weeks? Hmm. Sounds logical to me..." "Don't worry -- we can extinguish the flames with this jug of Bacardi 151..." "I don't care how many Olympic medals she won. I can beat a girl in a fistfight..." "Two for 'Freddy Got Fingered,' please..." "I don't care what happened before. I still say I can eat a whole bucket of clams..." "Doctor, schmoctor. That festering pustule will heal itself in no time..." "I bet I can pull the gun from that cop's holster..." "It doesn't matter which wire you snip; they all lead to the same thing..." "I wonder if that freezing metal pole tastes like strawberry..." "I cah puhh mah tonnn off mahselll..." "I can't see which gas pipe is leaking; it's too dark in here. Do you have a light? No, no! Don't light a match! Are you insane? You'll kill us all! Here, use my Zippo..." "I don't usually give my credit card and social-security number over the phone, but you sound like a nice telephone escort girl..." "Say, these nice, barefoot hillfolk will lead us out of this creepy forest..." "Look, somebody left an open, unmarked bottle of apple juice right here in this soggy refrigerator box behind the dumpster! What a find...!" "Mr. Voight, I'd like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage..." "Gosh, you look like you could be in high shcool! But what would you be doing in this bar if you weren't 21...?" "Heck, if you're already on the pill, why waste a condom...?" "Pay a barber? Hell, I got scissors and two mirrors..." "I bet this Raiders helmet can stop a bullet. Here, take my gun and shoot me in the head..." "At last, my time machine is complete! Now I can travel back to 19th Century Ireland and get myself some good potatoes..." "Well that didn't work. It appears I've merely sent myself back two years in time. At least I can stop myself from wasting ninety good minutes and ten hard-earned dollars on 'Freddy Got Fingered.' Hey, look, there's a bucket full of clams..."
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