what's that rattle?
LITERARY CLAPTRAP

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G.W.'s FRUIT SALAD    |    LETTERS

BIRTHDAY CARDS TO CELEBRITIES

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February 28, 2003       |       Today's Terrorist Threat Level: YELLOW...       |       Happy Birthday, Mario Andretti

stinky!

A   G O O D   P I E C E
O F   ' S '


BY
SALLY REARDON



"Sally, you're silly," Sully said softly.

"Sully, I'm not trying to be silly," said Sally sullenly. "So don't sully my name."

"Sorry, Sally. I don't want to say something sordid that would stop you from saying something sweet to me," Sully said sadly.

"Sorry's all you had to say," said Sally, smiling seductively at Sully.

"Sally, are you trying to seduce me?" said Sully, slighly sweaty.

"See here, Sully, I'm not saying I'm seducing you. Let me segue into something else. Have you seen Sammy since Susie's soirée?"

"Sally, don't skirt the issue. Are you putting the squeeze on me?" Sully said, squinting.

Sally smacked Sully.

"Sully, surely you can stand to be slightly smooth? Swipe that smirk off your face. God, I simply must have a smoke."

"I need a Scotch," scratched Sully, "Someone send me a Scotch!" He shouted sharply.

"Sully, I'm sleepy. I'm going to slip into something a little more slinky."

"Slick, Sally. Slide over."

"Oh, Sully, I can't stress so much. Shall we stop these shenanigans?" said Sally, shuffling out of her shoes, stripping off her stockings.

"Sally, stop!" said Sully. "What would Señor Sancho say?"

"Sully, Sancho's stopping at the store. He's storming the stacks at the store for sticky stuff," said Sally, sticking to it, slinking off her skirt, sliding out of her shirt.

"Sancho will be steamed if he stops here first." Sully shied away but she straddled him.

"Shit, Sally," shouted Sully, "Surely, you can show some self-control."

"Sully, sex me!"

"Sally?"

"Sully!"

"On second thought, sex sounds sweet. Let's screw," said Sully.

"Sex it is!" Sally screamed.

Sally swiftly snatched Sully and sprinted off.

Slut.






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