Tuesday, March 2, 2010

— Listicles —
Ways in Which Sarah Palin Will Spin Massive Amounts of Snow to Mock Global Warming

Rogue

Dontcha know it got cold when God heard we were worried ’bout the weather gettin’ warmer!
Hey, Washington insiders! How’s all that climate-changey stuff workin’ out for ya?
I know global warming ain’t real, cos the writing on my hand hasn’t melted yet. Take that, TelePrompTerer elitist scientists!
God hugs some of us closer, but will ya look what he’s done to the liberal East Coast élites lately? Coooold shoulder!
Sweaters are retarded.

Katelyn Sack is a writer, musician, and painter currently residing in Charlottesville. Her art has been displayed in numerous venues, and her writing has appeared or is pending publication in Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The Science Creative Quarterly, and Opium Magazine. She would like a book deal, please.

— Fiction —

Now That You've Found My "Creepy" Twilight Shrine: A Few Points for Rebuttal

Ryan Durham

While I feel it was inappropriate of me to have Photoshopped Robert Pattinson over your face in the pictures on my desk, I was hurt that you failed to notice the quality and detail of the vector mask that I employed.

— Fiction —

The Olympian

Jen Spyra

I laughed when I realized that I was kind of drunk, because wouldn’t I choose the night before my big day to challenge a motorcycle gang to a drinking contest.

— Fiction —

Kanye the Cognoscente

Justin Hook

I'm really happy for you, I'mma let you finish.

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