— Fiction —

Erratic Services

I can make you rock hard!!! - m4m - 18 - (Hoboken)

Reply to: anon00101892-012@craigslist.org
Date: 2010-02-01, 6:34PM EDT

I have Cialis for sale, 10 tabs for $100 dollars. Lasts 36 hours. If you have not tried Lipitor (Atorvastatin) which inhibits HMG-CoA reductase, the rate-determining enzyme located—

Just lost my train of thought. I took one pill yesterday out of curiosity. Blacked out, five hours later I’m watching Cosby Show. That same night I had sex and found out I made it into Duke! I’m thinking of majoring in Pharmacology. Call me, I have a access to a hot tub until—

Just ate a handful of walnuts. What is this obsession with walnuts? I’m basically a FEMA supporter except I don’t like your dog, if I were to meet it (i.e. if you were to come over). We could test the Lipitor. Avocado is the good fat, so just think about that.

I can’t wait to meet you. No pic no reply. Must loves dogs and fix my chainsaw, time for that weeping willow to go.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1154635

*New* BUSTY TANNED BOMBSHELL - w4m - 27 - (Culver city)

Reply to: anon00142798-011@craigslist.org
Date: 2010-02-04, 11:25PM PDT

I will make your dreams come true. You need a bike too? I’m a nice girl with a naughty side. I’m also trying to sell my ex-boyfriend’s bike. It’s brand new, he only rode it twelve times. Paid $700 CASH for it and it’s not even 8 months old. I also have a 19” Samsung LCD monitor. 90 bucks it’s yours.

I love playing Doctor and/or Lawyer. I have an enema kit and old subpoenas I can administer on you to alleviate your sensual conditions. I am a mature, busty, no nonsense, caring alternative practitioner (with a bike and monitor) specializing in most facets of human reproduction and body modification. Let me help you with premature ejaculation, prostate strengthening, and hair removal.

On the second ride I got two flat tires and never patched them. I have no time now for bike riding and I really need the cash, so I am selling the monitor for 80 bucks it’s yours. It also comes with a large cactus.

If you are ready to relax and enjoy some quality time with a sweetheart then please give me a call. Please remain a gentleman on the phone. No blocked calls. 1280 x 1024 resolution, DVI cable included.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1360267

Seeking MILF interested in mutual funds - m4w - 21 (Atlanta)

Reply to: anon00137821-019@craigslist.org
Date: 2010-02-06, 10:02PM EDT

I have $20,000 dollars in my sock. This message is for ‘non-pro’ MILF types that are looking for mutual funds. Perhaps you are recently unemployed and looking to perform provider contract analysis. Maybe it’s time to prepare financial forecasts, analyze data trends, and translate data using MS Access VBA. This position’s mission is to interact with internal units and subsidiary groups.

Or maybe you just want to get away for some daytime fun. Think crabs. My other sock is drying in the toaster oven. I’m not a pimp or the cops. I’m just looking for some respectful mutual funds with NSA. Today or tomorrow. Hit me back if you’re interested. No drama please.

Bachelor’s degree in finance, economics, accounting, or computer science is preferred. Costco membership is a plus.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1150183