“Curtains!”
“Have at him!”
“Get it over with!”
“Let ’er rip!”
“What would Jesus do? O.K., now do the opposite of that.”
Mike Richardson-Bryan used to be a lawyer, but he’s all better now. No, really. His work has also appeared on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, in the pages of Cracked, Stitches, and The Wittenburg Door, and recently appeared in The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2007. He lives in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada with one wife and two dogs.