— Listicles —

One-line Listicles

A Racy Magazine For Bulls
Lactating Mamas
       — MATTHEW SIMMONS

A Questionable Use of the Word ‘Perpetual’ In Contemporary Literature
Perpetually inflamed ass cheeks
       — BARRY GRAHAM

The Tagline Staples Should Use Instead Of “That was easy”
“Your 90-year-old grandmother can’t use our restroom even though you’re clearly buying stuff”
       — FRANK FERRI

Other Things Sarah Palin Can See From Her House
Alaska
       — JIMMY CHEN

Word That Should Be Spelled Phonetically
Phonetically
       — MATTHEW BONANNO

What Lou Bega Orders at McDonald’s
Combo No. 5
       — BEN SEGAL

What I Hoped Mall Santa Had In His Pocket
Candy Cane
       — RAVI MANGLA

Rejected Titles for This Year’s Company-Wide Human Resources Meeting
Human Resources 2008: Balls-Deep in Policy
       — WENDY MOLYNEUX

Reason You Might Be An Asshole
You killed your mother because she cooked your French toast incorrectly.
       — MIKE SACKS

Evidently The Wrong Answer When Your Boss Asks, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
“Oh, those days will eat me alive, sir.”
       — DAN KENNEDY

People Not Referred To In The Phrase “Think of the Children!”
Pedophiles
       — LINCOLN MICHEL

Internet Humor Writers Whose Names Sound Like They Should Be Middleweight Boxers
Fortunato Salazar
       — ERIC FEEZELL