or,
Ways in Which a Booking Agent Could Get Fired
Korn / Hole
Michael Jackson / Boyz II Men
The O’Jays / The Killers
Yoko Ono / 7 Year Bitch
Milli Vanilli / The Pretenders
Great White / The Arcade Fire
Clay Aiken / The Butthole Surfers
R. Kelly / Number One Fan
Brian Wilson / Michelle Shocked
The Jesus and Mary Chain / Bad Religion
Britney Spears / Bush
In lieu of a bio, the author has submitted the obituary he hopes for: Adam Laceky, age 438, died of spontaneous combustion while having sex with Penélope Cruz’s clone. Rumors that he will be missed could not be confirmed at press time.
