Thursday, October 9, 2008

— Etc. —
Food for Thoughtlessness

Hobo or Fast Food Entrée?

1. Joey Bag of Donuts
2. Parsnip Patty
3. Stumps Jr.
4. Studnut Stilton
5. Lil’ Chappy
6. Peanut Piston
7. Bojangles Botato
8. Fingers McGruder
9. Shrimp Skewers
10. Stew Radley
11. Hambone Fritters
12. Pepper Angus
13. Crunchy Tenders
14. Beans McNulty

Hobos: 2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 11, 14
Fast food entrées: 1 (Moe’s Southwest Grill), 4 (Burger Fuel), 6 (Burger Fuel), 7 (Bojangles’), 9 (Captain D’s), 12 (Burger King), 13 (Church’s Chicken)

—Chris Elzinga

Unpopular Summer Treats

Massengil-sicles

Frozen ferret falafel

Old snow

Poo pops

Grandma’s homemade bathwater (on the rocks)

—Mark Peters

Ways of Having One’s Hashbrowns That Have Been Removed from the Waffle House Repertoire for One Reason or Another

—Lucas Klauss

Embarrassed (with red peppers)

Slandered (with green peppers)

Compromised (by corn)

Severely Critiqued (with spicy mustard)

Had Its Principles Questioned
(by more potatoes)

Punched Pretty Hard on the Arm (by capers)

Murdered (with salt and vinegar)

Claimed in Her Majesty’s Name
(with banana peppers)

Bedazzled (with sequins)

Left at the Grocery Store
(by its mom)

Had a Cameo Role
(in K-Pax)

Wrapped (in pink tissue paper)

Transported Through Time
(by a time machine)

Brutally Murdered
(by a man with a shotgun)

— Listicles —

Hobo or Fast Food Entrée?

Can you tell a can o' beans from a bum?

— Listicles —

Unpopular Summer Treats

Mark Peters

Delicious when it's hot.

— Listicles —

Ways of Having One's Hashbrowns That Have Been Removed from the Waffle House Repertoire for One Reason or Another

Embarrassed (with red peppers)

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