Wednesday, September 24, 2008

— Listicles —
Questions from Val Kilmer upon Being Tapped to Provide the Voice of KITT for NBC’s New Knight Rider Series

Joe Gullo

1.) What are you having?

2.) Is that good?

3.) Really? Is that in season?

4.) All the way from Guyana?

5.) I don’t know; is she giving our order to the bar?

6.) Can you put the peppercorn sauce on the side?

7.) Think she’s cute?

8.) You’re married though, right?

9.) Is that a Movado?

10.) No, I haven’t; what was that show about?

A native son of the great state of Wisconsin, Joe Gullo is a former editor of The Second Supper Alternative News. He currently lives in New York City and works for The Onion. Joe enjoys nuanced obscenities and miming brass instruments with his vocal cords.

— Fiction —

I Can't Wait for You to Meet My Panther

Colin Nissan

You may stumble on a few mason jars around the apartment filled with urine. Nothing to worry about. It’s mine. Just a little system I’ve developed to let my panther know whose territory is whose around here.

— New & Noteworthy —

Ooonder ’ated on the Radio

Your humble editor, Mr. Geoff Wolinetz, spoke with Phantom 105.2, Dublin's reformed pirate radio station, to promote Y.P.R.'s book, Underrated (which in Ireland, of course, is called "Ooonder ’ated").

— Listicles —