by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran
1. Bamboo socks
2. Japanese visionary animator Hayao Miyazaki
3. Norway
4. Penguins*
5. Quality, Iranian-grown pistachios
* Live, not stuffed.
Daniel Brauer spent most of the last three years writing a novel, but in his spare time he translated official Iranian dispatches from the original F?rsi. His work has appeared in Pindeldyboz, and is forthcoming in Prairie Schooner.
More Zionist Plots:
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But first we must wait for a biopsy test!
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