— Poetry & Lyric —

I Don’t Know Anything About the Floating Man in the Upstairs Window: Nine Poems

Unfairer
If women are the fairer sex,
how come we’re the ones
wearing make-up?

Second Amendment
I believe in my right to bear arms.
If you decide you can’t bear them,
I know a surgeon on Fifth who gives a discount
to would-be double amputees.

Fringe Benefits
My buddy G’s day job has great fringe benefits:
When the decorative edge of his cowboy suit
Starts to wear, the boss sews a new one.

Night Sky
Stars are shooting across the night sky.
At least, with earplugs in, they kinda look like stars.
Who knew glittery flip-flops worked so well
in sling shots?

Cuppa Joe
Jenny needs her cuppa Joe before she can budge in the morning.
Joe resents having to curl up in a cup before shaving for work.
But relationships are based on compromise.

Rights
The lawyer says I got rights. But what I want to know is,
Did you know you had them before we slept together?
Bastard.

Fame
If you throw a boomerang in Hollywood,
does it come back to you, or does a little flight
down the walk of stars go to its head?

Economics
With gas prices so high, I wonder how long it is
before the tax on beans skyrockets.

Greek
Classics scholars say Sappho was a great lesbian poet.
Then why isn’t she on YouTube? Research, people.