 Welcome to the broadcast. Tonight, in part with PBS’s special on Goth culture, a round table with shock rocker Marilyn Manson; Robert Smith of the Cure; Morrissey, formerly of the Smiths, and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. Welcome.
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 Now, Marilyn … you just got back from a year long tour. How was that?
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 O.K., in a Middle-of-America sense.
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How So? |
I was in Dayton, Ohio. People are repressed there. The kids come to the shows to experience a certain kind of madness which they do not understand. |
 Same with Blackpool, England, actually.
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Marilyn, what do you mean by ‘madness’? |
‘Sanity’ is a paradigm propagated by the capitalists to enslave society to constantly feel the need to exercise their ‘mental health’ by consuming things labeled as ‘sane.’ |
I’m a little confused here. |
It’s like, if I put a peppermill in my anus, society labels me ‘insane’. But if I use it for a salad, then everything’s just fine. People are so narrow-minded. |
Um … O.K. That is very interesting, hold that thought. Now, Robert, how long does it take you to get your hair that way? |
A little under three hours. |
 (Snickers.)
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Wait your turn, Morrissey! I’m sure Charlie’s going to spend a nice chunk of time asking you about the difference between asexuality and celibacy and all your special thoughts on it! |
Actually, our producers have here that Morrissey is homosexual. |
Anal penetration does not make a man homosexual. |
 Jesus Christ, you guys are all a bunch of queers.
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O.K., Trent, I’ve had it with you. I maintained my reticence up until now. God, you are so melodramatic. I just can’t take it anymore. Have you heard of metaphor? You should try not to be so literal in your songs. It’s like, ooohhh, you hurt. You hurt. I could fall asleep to your lyrics if your timbre wasn’t so abrasive and obnoxious. |
Gentlemen, please. |
The more I ignore you, the closer you get. Who knew? |
That’s not funny, you prick. That song was written during a very difficult time in my life. |
Gentlemen, now please. We have a lot to get through. I have questions about graveyards, bats, and skulls. |
Charlie, I think you and your producers are gravely—no pun intended—confused. Those are heavy metal motifs. |
Yes, I prefer white doves and Jane Austen novels. |
Dude, you are so lost, man. |
Do you know why you are depressed? Because you’re a very mean person. Do you know why you rely on drum machines? Because no human could ever stand you for more than twenty minutes. Just ask Morrissey here. |
(Singing) ASK ME! ASK ME! ASK ME! |
I’m going to kill you. |
ASK ME I WON’T SAY NO HOW COULD I??!!! |
After this show, if it’s in the elevator, or in the parking lot, I’m going to kill you. Literally. I don’t know how, I might need to find a pen or a fork, but I’m going to kill you. I’m not being rhetorical. |
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Um, yes. O.K. … So. |
I also love Emily Brontë. |
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Wow. I’m sure Trent was just kidding. Morrissey, you should stick around after the show. |
I think I might. |
Anyhow, the documentary Goths: What’s the Big Deal? airs on PBS this Friday. Thanks again, everyone. See you next time. |
