blankspace.gif
Greenback
The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastilly Written & Sloppilly Edited
Syndicate

RSD | RSS I | RSS II | Atøm | Spanish

Shop
Bea!
Support Submit
Submit
From the Y.P.aRchives Fun, Fickle Fiction (for Free!) Fact, Opinion, Essay, & Review Spectacular Features, Calendrical Happenings, Media Gadflies Poetry & Lyric Advice, How To, & Self-Help Listicles Semi-Frequent Columns Letter from the Editors Disquieting Modern Trends Interviews Interviews with Interviewers One-Question Interviews The Book Club Media Gadflies Calendrical Happenings Roasts Correspondence (Letters To and Letters From) Letters from Y.P.R. Letters to Y.P.R. Birthday Cards to Celebrities Pop Stars in Hotel Rooms Shreek of the Week of the Day Polish Facts: An Antidote to the Polish Joke The Y.P.aRt Gallery Illustrious Illustration Photography Photomontage Graphic Design Logo Gallery What's Up with That? Fuit Salad Nick's Guff Vermont Girl The M_methicist Daily Garfield Digest New & Noteworthy Contributors' Notes Et Cetera, Et Cetera, Et Cetera The Y.P.aRchives
Creative Commons License
This journal is licensed under a Creative Commons License and powered by Movable Typo 4.01.
Crockpot!
© MMIII—MMVIII,
Y.P.R. & Co.
Monday, July 16, 2007

— Fiction —
20th Century Fox's New Christian Mini-Studio FoxFaith Announces Its Planned Releases For 2008

by Shap Sweeney

Fox_Faith_logo.jpg20th Century Fox
Media Relations
Re: FoxFaith

In September of 2006 we proudly announced the creation of our new film and TV division, FoxFaith. Created to meet America’s rapidly growing demand for Christian-themed entertainment, FoxFaith is one of the most exciting recent additions to the 20th Century Fox family. With FoxFaith we aim to bring Hollywood-quality Christian entertainment to all demographics and all ages. FoxFaith will soon begin releasing feature movies, and without further adieu, here is what Faithful filmgoers have to look forward to in 2008:

The Last Disciple
Twenty years after the crucifixion of Jesus, all of the twelve disciples have passed away except for one: St. John. John has spent the past two decades in China training to become a ninja. He returns to the Holy Land a man on a mission. Now the Roman soldiers responsible for the torture and crucifixion of Jesus are about to meet their worst nightmare. Apparently they forgot the old saying: “The holier the saint; the harder the ass kicking!”

Starring VIN DIESEL as St. John.

Fast Times at Nazareth High
It’s the summer of 0017, the last one before their Senior year, and the gang’s not going to let this one go by without a bang! Will Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John trick uptight Jesus into turning kegs of water into wine in time for the blowout bash? Will Judas win Mary Magdalene back from Pontius Pilate? Can Stephen use his disciple status to score with freshman girls? It’s going to be a wild summer for the seniors at Nazareth High, in this don’t-miss teen comedy!

Starring ADAM BRODY as Judas, MISCHA BARTON as Mary Magdalene, and BENJAMIN McKENZIE as Pontius Pilate.

Hallelujah the Puppy
In this delightful animated adventure, a little puppy named Hallelujah lives in a house where Christ is not recognized as the one true Lord and Savior. He runs away from home and doesn’t stop until he gets to Bethlehem: the birthplace of Jesus. The brave little puppy dies from exhaustion at the end of his long journey. But this is a happy tale, for God invites him to come play in the special heaven He has for cats and dogs. This tale of a dog in search of his true Master will delight the entire family!

Starring the voices of DAKOTA FANNING as Hallelujah and HOWIE MANDEL as God.

Ark
In time for the 10th anniversary of its biggest epic ever, the studio that brought you Titanic brings you, via FoxFaith, Ark. Two young lovers, Noah and Naamah, meet on a star-crossed voyage on an ocean-covered planet. Noah, the working class boy who built the boat, and Naamah, the upper-class girl along for the ride. In this lavish production featuring a full-size replica ark, over 140 live animals, and one of the great love stories of our time, you will be reminded that, “The heart does go on.”

Starring ZACH BRAFF as Noah and BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD as Naamah. Featuring music by Céline Dion.

CAIN and disABELed
In this goofball comedy, Cain and Abel are two wacky brothers who can’t stop pulling outrageous pranks on each other. If it’s not one of Cain’s booby-trapped chariots, then it’s one of Abel’s lions-on-the-loose. But the crazier the pranks get, the more dangerous. If these two don’t stop soon … one of them is liable to end up dead!

Starring ROB SCHNEIDER as Cain and DAVID SPADE as Abel.

And introducing the groundbreaking new TV sitcom:

jesusandmary.jpgJesus & Mary
Jesus & Mary is a hilarious series about two best friends. The twist is that Jesus is the Son of God, unable to engage in pleasures of the flesh. Mary Magdalene is a straight interior designer. More than friends, but less than lovers, the two share a special bond and their personalities are a perfect match. In addition to the stable Jesus and Mary, the show features Jesus’ flamboyantly gay disciple, Peter, and Mary’s sarcastic, spoiled, and boozy assistant, Tabitha.

Starring KIRK CAMERON as Jesus and KATHY GRIFFIN as Mary Magdalene.


Shap Sweeney is a New York based person who works in creative development for television. He is also a writer. He has to spell his first name out for people pretty much every time he meets anyone. This has made life quite a struggle, which is why he plans to retire at 29.