Fiction

Excerpts from 360-Degree Peer Review: Jack Bauer, Applebee's Assistant Manager

Jack Bauer, Assistant Manager
Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill & Bar
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

The following comments have been taken from the 360-degree peer review for Jack Bauer [Employee #22132] at Store 332, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. We provide these comments to you purely in the interest of self-improvement. You are a valuable part of the Applebee’s team, and we hope you can use this feedback from your fellow employees to continue to make Applebee’s America’s neighborhood restaurant.

Trent Kerstetter , Fry Cook
We all get in the weeds sometimes, but most people kind of give each other some slack, you know? I mean, dude, seriously: chicken wings are gonna fry the same speed whether there’s some guy standing behind you yelling “Do it! DO IT NOW!” or not.

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Tammy Reichenbach , Hostess
Jack is always asking for this extravagant stuff, like, “Download the schematic for the mall onto my PDA” or “Get me the access codes to the Arby’s drive-through intercom.” I’m like, if you want me to seat somebody in a certain section, or, you know, not seat somebody, then I can do that, but, like, schematics? Access codes?

* * *

Scott Robertson , Manager
Some ways Jack could improve? Well, I’d say maybe his management style? I mean, he was hired to be a bit of a hardass, you know? I knew he was experienced, had some kind of law enforcement or something. What this place needed, I thought, was a little discipline, so Jack sounded like just what the doctor ordered.

But, well, how to put it? I guess what my dad used to say: you catch more bees with sugar than vinegar? Let’s say we need Ginny to fill up the ketchups. Jack might say, “Ginny, fill up the ketchups GINNY FILL UP THE KETCHUPS NOW!” That’s one way, but my experience, sixteen years in the restaurant biz, says a better way to go might be to say, “Hi Ginny, hello, how’s it going? Good tips tonight? You have a few minutes? Terrific! Hey, would you mind maybe filling up the ketchups?”

* * *

Trent Kerstetter , Fry Cook
Jack’s always saying how we’re all this great team here at Applebees, and we’re America’s neighborhood restaurant and everything. So the other night I get in a little late, ask him “what are the specials tonight?” He starts his little general routine, you know, scrunches his face all up, gets up in my face and yells “There’s no time! I! Don’t! Have! Time.!” I’m like, dude, it’s Monday night, four to midnight shift, you know, time is all we got.

* * *

Scott Robertson , Manager
He did get us a break on chicken wings. Like a few bucks a pound. Jack and the meat sales guy go into the walk-in and I hear this thing start up—I think it was the slicer, he had dragged it in there somehow. Anyway, this slicer starts up and everything is all quiet, no talking, then all of the sudden the meat guy just goes through the roof, begging and crying like I never heard nothing like it in my life. I run for my keys and when I get back, they’re standing there, Jack’s signing his name on an order sheet and the meat guy is sweating like he just got out of a steam bath.

* * *

Jim Naugle , Dishwasher
Jack wrecked my car. Fucking Mustang, man, vintage. He comes running in, all, “I have to use your car GIVE ME YOUR CAR WHERE ARE YOUR KEYS!” And then started doing that thing where he yells NOW real loud. He shows me this thing in his wallet, I think it was a burrito card, then he grabs my keys and drives right into the Dumpster behind Arby’s. I don’t think he can drive stick. When I asked about his insurance he just muttered something about collateral damage and started yelling at Brittany that he needed her car.

* * *

Scott Robertson , Manager
Another thing he could work on? Would maybe be the ability to delegate? As a for instance, last week Brittany was having some trouble with a table, bunch of guys from the Ford lot. She comes to Jack and asks him can you talk to these guys, tell them to stop, you know, playing grab-ass. Hey, it’s unfortunate, but, you know, it happens.

So Jack chops her in the neck, ties her up, throws her in the walk-in. Then he puts on her uniform and works the rest of her shift himself. I have to admit, there wasn’t any more problem with the Ford guys, but, you know, delegate.

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Brittany James , Waitress
If you’re going to chop me in the neck and work the end of my shift, all I’m saying is at least tip out the busboys. Those guys, you know, they just look at your nametag. It took me like a month to get my tables cleaned after that.