The Alarmist’s Reference Book of Miserable Maladies That Are Possibly Infecting Your Body at This Very Moment

Dennis DiClaudio, the noted writer of fact and fiction, playwright (The Writer’s Mind), improvisational performer (Waitstaffer and Caballist), editor ((parenthetical note) and Ducky magazine), Philadelphian (for now), and researcher of interesting infectious diseases (not to mention frequent contributor to this humble journal (and talking typing head for Y.P.R.’s “I Love ‘I Love the *0s’” retrospectire.¹)), has finally put his talents and expertise to good use—Behold:

The Hypochondriac’s Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have

Written by Mr. DiClaudio, published by Bloomsbury, and available at bookstores and book-selling Web sites everywhere. Read it and freak out. (Seriously, one in ten people have or have had enterobiasis, an infection of pinworms setting up shop in the sun-don’t-shine section of the colon. Pinworms. Living in your colon. One in ten people. Want to know what a pinworm looks like?

Christ, that makes our asses (psychosomatically?!?) itch.)

D.DiC. on Y.P.R.

The As-Yet-Unaired Third ‘Swift Boat Veterans for Truth’ Advertisement
*
Omit Needless Words
*
Jake Loves the Eighties
*
The Nature of the Carolina Ghost Crab