— Listicles —

Subtle Changes to the Titles of Children’s Shows That Would Require Drastic Changes in Program Content

Condolences Posted to the Funeral Home Web Site Upon the Death of "Zesty the Clown" What do I remember about Zesty? He was funny. Except when he performed. But when you ran into him, you know, just out in the community, at the instant check-cashing store, at the emergency room, in a holding cell, inside a Dumpster, he was always funny. Funny scary. Say, what do you call a birthday party without a clown? The end of a child's happiness. Book me today!

--Bill Leffler
"Clunks the Clown"

He Knows When You Are Confused and Disappointed Jon says, "Garfield . . . Santa Claus is coming to town!" and Garfield thinks, "Really?" and then he thinks, "He can stay in my room!" and I think Jim Davis just doesn't care about anything at all anymore....

The Recently Discovered "Erotick Poetry" of Daniel Chelly-Ladbourne Scholars at Kent College Pembury, an all-girls preparatory school in England, recently unearthed an astonishing discovery in the rectory directly below the women's faculty quarters: a dusty trunk filled with the long-lost journals of the mildly retarded Lord Daniel Chelly-Ladbourne....