Karl Rove's Ringside Boasts
It ain’t braggin’ if you’re a Republican.
*
I’m not the greatest, I’m the double greatest. Not only do I knock ’em out, I grind my foot into their balls.
*
I done wrassled with an atheist, I done tussled with McCain, handcuffed abortion, sabotaged your campaign. Only last week I murdered the environment, injured the U.N., hospitalized the liberal machine—I’m so low I make Nixon look clean.
*
Joe Wilson is so ugly, he should donate his face to the U.S. Bureau of Wildlife. Except he poisons animals.
*
I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my room and discredited The New York Times before the room was dark.
*
Fifteen judges. I want fifteen judges to be at this trial because there ain’t no one man who can keep up with the loopholes I’m gonna find except me.
*
I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked. Ha! Get THAT image out of your heads, America!
*
Joe Wilson’s wife is so ugly she should donate her face to a fundamentalist terror cell. Whoops, too late.
*
I’m the king of the world, I am the greatest, I’m Karl Rove, I shook up Washington, I am the greatest, I’m king of the world, I’m petty, I’m petty, I’m a baaaad man, you heard me, I’m a baaaad man, I put Al Gore on the floor, Kerry in ought-four, so in 2008, I’m-a crush me a Democrate, I’m a baaaad man, I’m king of the world!
*
Float like a butterfly, smear like a pap.
