Extremely Long and Incredibly Bad Writer’s Block

by Angela Genusa

My name is Oskar Schell, I am nine years old, I am obsessed with encyclopedic trivia and I have writer’s block. One potato kugel, two potato kugel, three potato kugel, four. I could have a googolplex potatoes. A googol to…

Everything According to Incredible Acquaintances

by Matthew Rorem

The following is a selection of testimonials from several people who claim to have crossed paths with Jonathan Safran Foer: His Cleaning Lady In beginning Jonathan was more nice of man and more like just nice boy. He says hello…

Correspondence between Jonathan Safran Foer and Nicole Krauss That Explains How They Wrote the Same Book

by Leigh Stein

I wrote, Dear Stephen Hawking. And then I crossed it out and wrote, Dear Nicole. And then I wrote you a whole letter on a ribbonless typewriter. And then I put a key in the envelope. And then I…

Intellectual Property

by George Motisher

From: The Law Offices of Gimmy, Moore, & Lykitt, L.L.C. Dear Mr. Foer; We have been retained by Mr. Jim Carrey in a matter of copyright infringement concerning your latest book. We refer you to this statement in paragraph one…

A Scientific Proposal to the Executive Program Directors of the ABC, CBS, FOX, and NBC Networks

by David Ng

Dear Sirs, I know an omen when I see one, and it needn’t even involve a two-headed goat. As a scientist with a background in cancer research, the revelation I’m referring to is a bit of homework I did on…

Chuck Palahniuk Mows the Lawn

by Jesse Kavadlo

Imagine vacuuming. Now, imagine the vacuum weighs 350 pounds. Now, imagine this 350-pound vacuum has a rotating blade that can take off a man’s hand. Imagine that it does, only sometimes it’s not a hand. Sometimes it’s a leg. Sometimes…