Sam Lipsyte, distinguished alumnus

Y.P.R.

What is written about or to you in your high-school yearbook?

Sam Lipyste

Herewith I offer a few inscriptions from my yearbook, with annotations where needed, and names removed.

1. From a guy I used to drink with:

“Sambo—
    You are one of the most awesome guys I know. I’ll always remember drinkin’ and hanging out with you after M_____ kept begging to knock D___C____ out. [M. being something of a hothead and D.C. somewhat churlish this particular evening, if I remember correctly, which I’m sure I don’t.] If you are ever in Philly please look me. I’ll be seeing you over the summer … D.M.”

2. From another guy I guess I drank with:

“Sam,
    We are the key drinkers remember at Goldbergs we will have to do it again sometime. It’s been great running track practice with you.
                             R”

[Apparently I was a key drinker. Good to know not much has changed.]

3. This from a girl I had a crush on though like a bad teen movie it never occurred to me she might have reciprocated until she wrote her phone number in the below inscription. Or maybe she just knew I was a key drinker:

“Sam—
Well even though you cheated off my math paper in Mrs. Demshock, I still love you. We had a pisser at the Hawaiin dance. You’re a pisser to party with and we def will this summer. I’ll miss our homeroom. Keep in touch. Love ya, K.”

4. Finally, from a girl who dumped me:

“Writing in a yearbook is trivial compared to everything that there is to say—Sam, you were my first love, and probably in 30 years you’ll forget about us anyway. Keep in touch.
Love, A___.
P.S. I’m sorry.”

[Trust me, I haven’t forgotten.]

Hope you find these entries entertaining.

Best,
Sam Lipsyte