Y.P.R.
1. How come us Jewish folks are so hairy? I look like Robin Williams and the Wolfman had a kid.
Neal Pollack
Body hair, as you know, contains your unique “chemical signature,” designed by nature to sexually attract other mammals. From personal experience, I know that Jews get laid all the time, so we must smell good. Therefore, we’re so hairy because God wanted us to be that way. Note to Jews: Do NOT get rid of your body hair, because that will lead to the extermination of your people, unless you’ve already reproduced with a non-Jew, in which case you’ve already screwed up everything.
Mr. Pollack is the author of Never Mind the Pollacks, Beneath the Axis of Evil, and The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature. His Web site is www.nealpollack.com.
Tom Perrotta, novelist
Y.P.R. 1. Which do you prefer (to munch on, not to adorn book covers): Pepperidge Farm Goldfish or chocolate-chip cookies? Tom Perrotta I prefer chocolate chip cookies. They don't have as many lawyers. Mr. Perrotta is the author of the... 
Blood Drive
Did you know that at least 700 blood donors are needed daily in the Pittsburgh area to supply the 40-plus local hospitals? Did you know that you can save a life by donating just a small amount of blood? Of...
Belated Apologies to Girls I Have Known
I’m sorry for whatever it was I said that resulted in you throwing an iron at me. Maybe something about your hair.
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