— Dear Y.P.R. —

Canis latrans

Dear Wile E. Coyote:

I have noticed that over the years, you have ordered a lot of merchandise from the good people at the Acme corporation. You must’ve spent a lot of money on Acme stuff, trying to catch the Road Runner. I can only assume that this is so you could eat the Road Runner. Wouldn’t your money be better spent buying a nice dinner? For instance, roadrunner à l’orange?

Just a suggestion.

Cathy Hannan
lostandfrowned.com

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Dear Cathy,

You think I don’t know that? I’m a supergenius, for cryin’ out loud. The reason, my dear, that I spend every red cent on the Acme corpration’s endless supply of innovative gadgetry is not simply to satisfy my belly, which, by the way, is completely famished. It is because I enjoy the thrill of the hunt. No plate of roadrunner served to me by a butcher will ever taste as sweet as that which I outwit, ensnare, kill, and then prepare (à l’orange) myself.

Ta,
W.E.C., supergenius.