New & Noteworthy
Sally Forth

Hey, remember The Fourth of July, 2003? We don't, but found this in our archives:

Fourth of July Fourthiness.

Independence is on the march, patriots.

& Recently . . .

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks by Angela Genusa

"B.L.T.": A Review by Will Layman

Ten Tiny Poems by Brian Beatty

Angry Words from a Gnome Who to This Day Continues to Think the Human Genome Project Was Actually The Human Gnome Project by David Ng

Key Party, N.Y.C., Circa Always by William K. Burnette

A Day on the Phone with Mythological Norse Firewarrior, Bringer of Storms by Aaron Belz

Polish Fact

Zloty Exchange Rate:
(04/2004)

1 USD = 3.95 PLN
1 Euro = 4.67 PLN

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Parlez-Vous Français!
Les filles gros-basées, vous faites le monde basculant circuler.
Fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round.

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Thursday, July 15, 2004   |    Fiction

A Message from Franklin Nchita Ogbuewu, Nigeria’s Minister of Tourism


Welcome to beautiful Nigeria, land of mountains and plains! Experience Nigeria’s rich culture and rich climate! We have over 250 different peoples speaking different languages and practicing different religions. Can you imagine the how much war we have been having in our rich history? So colorful! Blood and fireworks! Our natural resources include petroleum, tin, and columbite! Iron ore? Coal, lead, zinc? We have all those things and more!

But watch out for our wild hyenas and jackals that roam free because they are very much hungry! Dangerous but exciting!

But good news for people who like music! Nigeria is home to the traditional juju music and as well Afrobeat and reggae music. Highly rewarding for the intrepid!

Colorful scenic backgrounds are beautiful. Sky and trees and grass and water! Yes all in once place. Very beautiful to look at! Many colors of green and blue and yellow and red. Delicious for the eyes!

But Nigeria’s best resource is its many wonderful wealthy businessmen, dowagers, and disgraced nobility who are seeking good and trustworthy investment partners in the US for the purpose of transferring large sums $$$ of money !!! from inside Africa to outside of Africa can you help us we now you to be good and trustworthy.

As a result of many years of civil war strife and a collapsible government and the lack of solar calculators in our banking financial structure there are many accounts that are non transferred and $$$ the money cannot be taken out due to Cameroon and Liberia. Also lions roam the streets and no one knows where the keys to the bank are.

My friend the barrister Winston Montgomery Oglethorpe Apple-Martin iii will arrange the confidential transaction if you give him your secure credit card $$$ don’t worry it’s all secure you trust the minister of tourism don’t you? I know you do because our mutual contact who referred me spoke for your good name and trustworthiness. $$$$. Very much fast now let’s do it.

What do you say? Are you and I foreign business partners in this venture do you think so? $$$? Money money money give me your account number barrister Winston Oglethorpe money cash moolah loot gimme gimme gimme thank you and good day sir.