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The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastily Written & Slopilly Edited
Monday, January 5, 2004

Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants

It's Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants!

Captain: Ooooooooooh, who lives in the tissue of sick Holstein spines?
Children: Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants!
Captain: Stripped by a machine in guarded confines!
Children: Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants!
Captain: If neurological infection is something you wish—
Children: Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants!
Captain: Then try some ground up frontal lobe in your dish!
Children: Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants!

Captain: Ready?
Everyone: Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants!
Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants!
Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants!
Encephalopathyyyyyyyyyyyyyy SquarePants!
Flute: Toot-Toot-Toot-Toot! Toot-Toot Toot!
Captain: *cough cough*

Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy SquarePants artwork by Dan Engler
Jeremy Richards's work has appeared in McSweeney's, Eyeshot, The Morning News, Pindeldyboz, The Bullfight Review, The Cascadia Review, and on N.P.R.'s Morning Edition and All Things Considered. Richards is also a veteran performer with Seattle's Market Theatre and the Colorado Shakespeare Festival. He currently lives in Seattle.
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