Friday, October 24, 2003 | Fiction
Winnie-the-Pooh and the Thug Life
“Do you have my money, Piglet?”
“I’m sorry, Pooh. I can get it by next week. I promise. Just give me a few days.”
“You said that last week, Piglet.”
“I know, Pooh. I mean it this time.”
“Oh, bother. I feel a rumbly.”
“No, Pooh. Please?”
Whump!
“I feel a rumbly, gangland-style. Eeyo’, unstuff his ass.”
Geoff Wolinetz cannot be found on IMDb because the Hollywood community refuses to acknowledge the production of his seminal masterpiece Come What May, a gritty psychothriller starring a guy who kind of looks like Billy Baldwin and Erin Gray (formerly of "Silver Spoons"). If he were to be found on IMDb, his name would fall between "Geoff Witcher" and "Geoff Wood." In addition to his imaginary film career, Geoff also maintains an imaginary career as a baron of industry, is lead singer of the imaginary band Kick Ass, Falco, holds an imaginary Olympic gold medal and is an imaginary Pulitzer laureate in the field of journalism for his investigative piece on the albinos of Alaska.