Thursday, October 30, 2003 | Non-Fiction
Lessons Learned from HBO
- Don’t cross the streams.
- There’s no crying in baseball.
- You do not talk about fight club.
- Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
- Never tell anybody outside the family what you’re thinking.
- Never get it wet, keep it out of bright lights, especially sunlight, and never, ever feed it after midnight.
- Coffee is for closers.
- If he pulls a knife, you pull a gun. If he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.
- Plastics.
Ray Stillman once killed a man with his bare hands, although he is not one to brag about such things. He is an aspiring screenwriter, an inspiring poet, and a perspiring photographer. Mr. Stillman is an ex-New Yorker who now lives in scenic, sunny, star-saturated Los Angeles, in an apartment building between a bowling alley and a tatoo parlor. He often finds it difficult to resist the urge to ink "Gutter balls" across the knuckles of his left hand. He has made sweet, sweet love with supermodel Heidi Klum many, many times but, again, is not one to brag.