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The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastilly Written & Sloppilly Edited
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From the Y.P.aRchives Fun, Fickle Fiction (for Free!) Fact, Opinion, Essay, & Review Spectacular Features, Calendrical Happenings, Media Gadflies Poetry & Lyric Advice, How To, & Self-Help Listicles Semi-Frequent Columns Letter from the Editors Disquieting Modern Trends Interviews Interviews with Interviewers One-Question Interviews The Book Club Media Gadflies Calendrical Happenings Roasts Correspondence (Letters To and Letters From) Letters from Y.P.R. Letters to Y.P.R. Birthday Cards to Celebrities Pop Stars in Hotel Rooms Shreek of the Week of the Day Polish Facts: An Antidote to the Polish Joke The Y.P.aRt Gallery Illustrious Illustration Photography Photomontage Graphic Design Logo Gallery What's Up with That? Fuit Salad Nick's Guff Vermont Girl The M_methicist Daily Garfield Digest New & Noteworthy Contributors' Notes Et Cetera, Et Cetera, Et Cetera The Y.P.aRchives
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Wednesday, October 8, 2003

Happy Birthday, Sigourney Weaver!

Dear Siggy,

Happy 54th Birthday!

Know what? Nobody can hear you scream under water, either. Not just in outer space, but right here on earth, too! Just off the coast of Mexico, for example. I know this because I stepped on a barracuda once while scuba-diving, and believe me, I screamed like a woman. And nobody could hear me …

Happy birthday, baby!

Your pal,
Ray