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Wednesday, September 3, 2003 | Birthday Cards to Celebrities
Happy Birthday, Charlie Sheen!September 3, 1964 | Charlie Sheen | hot shot
Dear Charlie, Happy 38th Birthday! For a child of privilege who spent the bulk of his youth blowing gigantic quantities of cash on hookers and drugs, you sure did O.K. for yourself! Damn, your wife is a hot piece of ass. I too have squandered my youth on drugs and hookers, but all I got to show for it a rap sheet as long as this nasty scar on my thigh. It’s kind of a gnarly scar, I guess, but it’s no Denise Richards. Well, good luck with your new sitcom, Chuckie. Your friend,
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In which Y.P.R. resorts to the milking of outdated, hackneyed stereotypes to exploit America’s love/hate relationship with France.