Happy Birthdays, Brian Austin Green, Scott Foley, Brigette Nielson, Forest Whitaker, Willie Aames, Joe Satriani, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, & Arianna Huffington!
July 15, 1972 | Scott Foley | actor
July 15, 1963 | Brigette Nielson | big woman
July 15, 1961 | Forest Whitaker | ghost dawg
July 15, 1960 | Willie Aames | Scott Baio’s apprentice
July 15, 1956 | Joe Satriani | guitar god
July 15, 1951 | Jesse “The Body” Ventura | greco-roman governor
July 15, 1950 | Arianna Huffington | irksome pundit
Dear Everybody,
Happy 30th, 31st, 40th, 42nd, 43rd, 47th, 52nd, and 53rd Birthdays!
I’m sorry for the collective birthday card, but I’m running low on stamps, and the cable bill’s due. So:
Brian: You rocked on “90210.” Hope you’re still banging Tori, wherever you are.
Scott: The Kids in the Hall frighten me just a little bit, because you guys are always wearing dresses, and you seem to really enjoy it.
Brigette: Back off, man.
Willie: Can I have my Radiohead CD back? You’ve had it, like, forever, Buddy. Also, I so loved the Powells way more better than the Pembrokes.
Joe: You cannot see me, but I’m air-guitaring “Happy Birthday” to you right now. Rock on, J.S., rock on.
Jesse: I heard from Jake the Snake. He’s ready to get back in the ring with you… the political ring, that is! That’s right, next fall, Jesse: You. Jake the Snake. Mano a mano for the title of Senate President Pro Tempore! J “the Body” V vs. J the S! This time, it’s personal! Be there! Only on Pay-per-View!
Huffs: I had a blast last night. You were sucking down Red Bulls and Vodka like nothing. I think I saw your brassiere in my sink this morning, but I’m not sure if it’s yours. Ha, ha, you crazy lush!
Well, I guess that about wraps it all up. Happy Birthdays, everybody!
Best,
Josh