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The Journal of Literary Satire | Hastily Written & Slopilly Edited
Monday, May 5, 2003
Cinco de Mayo!

Y.P.R.'s Cinco de Mayo! Fiesta

¡Cinco de Mayo!

In which one can enjoy a fifth of May, con queso.

[ Courtesy Mexico Online: ]

The holiday of Cinco De Mayo, the Fifth of May, commemorates the victory of the Mexicans over the French army at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. It is primarily a regional holiday celebrated in the Mexican state capital city of Puebla and throughout the state of Puebla, but is also celebrated in other parts of the country and in U.S. cities with a significant Mexican population. It is not, as many people think, Mexico’s Independence Day, which is actually September 16.

[ Courtesy Jimmy Buffet: ]

Nibblin’ on sponge cake, watching the sun bake all of those tourists covered with oil, strumming my six-string on my front-porch swing … Smell those shrimp; they’re beginning to boil.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville, searching for my lost shaker of salt. Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame but I know it’s nobody’s fault.

I don’t know the reason I stayed here all season. Nothing to show but this brand new tattoo. But it’s a real beauty—a Mexican cutie. How it got here, I haven’t a clue.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville, searching for my lost shaker of salt. Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame. Now I think, hell, it could be my fault.

I blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop-top, cut my heal, had to cruise on back home’ but there’s booze in the blender and soon it will render that frozen concoction that helps me hang on.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville, searching for my lost shaker of salt. Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame, but I know it’s my own damned fault. Yes, and some people claim that there’s a woman to blame and I know It’s my owned damned fault.

¡Olé!

¡How We’re Celebrating Cinco de Mayo!

A Message from the Mexican Minister of Tourism

¿What Are We Doing with Our Empty Corona Bottles?

¡Don’t Want No Mexican Radio!

Nueve de Mayo by Nick Jezarian

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