Top 10 Things That Sucked about My Day (In No Particular Order)

6. Oprah discussed the war with Iraq; many women were waiting to hear what they should think. Also, I was home and watching Oprah.

2. The toilet paper at work was downgraded to half-ply. With visible wood chips.

10. My accountant told me the only reason I would be getting a return this year was due to the fact I fall into the same tax bracket as unemployed single mothers. But would they date me?

8. While rummaging through a drawer in search of a girl’s number, I came across a photo of myself when I was young, thin, and happy. The number she gave me: Not her number.

1. I decided to quit cigarettes again, but saw: “Limited-Time Offer! 3 Packs for the Price of 2!” So, moral of the story: a good bargain trumps healthy lungs.

5. I checked my balance at a bodega’s ATM to see if a check had cleared. I got hit with a $2.50 cover charge, which in turn thwarted my exact-to-the-penny mental balancing and caused the check I was checking to bounce.

6. The lady at the Chinese take-out place asked me if I was my father’s brother or son. Also, they were out of moo-shoo pork.

3. That’s all I can think of. But I’m sure there’s more.