Things I Can’t Believe Happened (March 2003)
Headlines I Can’t Believe I’ve Read
Crunch! Giant Cheeto Spurs Online Frenzy
Small Iowa town to put it on display
Friday, March 7, 2003
CNN
Monkeys Flee Research Center, Keepers Trying to Lure Them with
Bananas
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
CNN
Mountain Covers Its ‘Nipple’
After Pressure From Skiers and Tourists, Wyo. Mountain Covers Its
‘Nipple’
ALTA, Wyo. March 13, 2003
ABC News
Cameroon Bans Urine ‘Remedy’
Thursday, 13 March, 2003
BBC News
Latrine deaths over Kenyan cell phone
Friday, 14 March, 2003
BBC News
Millionaire Cough Was ‘Dust Allergy’
Friday, 14 March, 2003
BBC News
Comedian Dick Smothers’ Son Launches Porn Career
Tuesday, Mar 18, 2003
Yahoo! News
It’s Yellow, but Not French
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
The Washington Times
Comments I Can’t Believe I’ve Overheard in My Office
“Oh my God, between the war and my back, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster.”
“Are you just telling me that I’m the tallest of the midgets?”
“If I get another box of pencils as a gift, I’m going to kill somebody.”
“Oh shit, there’s my shoe.”
[Upon finding said shoe in file cabinet.]
“Oh yeah, no one would have watched ‘Friends’ then, that’s when anthrax was on. Personally I found ‘Friends’ more entertaining.”
“But I’ve yet to have charges pressed against me.”
“Well, Allie doesn’t drink liquor.”
“Liquor? I don’t even know her.”
“The Q4 2001 Travel Promotion wasn’t successful.”
“No shit.”
“Well, I’ve got a walk-on-water meeting at 2, and then a turn-water-into-wine meeting at 3, and then I’ll look into it after that.”
“Jennifer, go on the Internet and find out what red means.”