& Recently . . .

Axis of Weasel

hey there, big boy, i’m a 19yr old weasel who just moved to nyc and i set up my webcam check it out just for you CLICK HERE click here for hardcore weasel sex!!!!! the hottest weasel site on the…

Dear Froot Loops

Dear HBO

HBO 1100 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10036 Dear Home Box Office, I love the HBO. Love it. Your award-winning original programming rocks my socks. Your hit movies also have a rocking effect on my socks. But the…

Alternative Uses for Instant Paper Pulp

by Nick Jezarian

“Listen Mr. Humperdink, computers are making this stuff obsolete! You make a mistake, you type the change and print it out again—simple as pie.” “Silence!” “But Mr. Humperdink…” “I said shut yer pie-hole, you mullet-promoting twit! Not another word from…

Polish Fact

Climate:
Temperate with cold, cloudy, moderately severe winters with frequent precipitation; mild summers with frequent showers and thundershowers.

Learn a Foreign Tongue!

Learn Portuguese!
Christ Doce! Esse prostitute é realmente um homem!
Sweet Christ, that prostitute is really a man!

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Friday, March 21, 2003   |    Birthday Cards to Celebrities

Happy Birthday, Rosie O’Donnell!

March 21, 1962 | Rosie O’Donnell | presence

Dear Rosie,

Happy 41st birthday!

Look: your defunct magazine, your talk-show-no-more, your pro-K-mart/anti-N.R.A. hot air … that’s all fine and good. I don’t care one way or the other.

But my childhood imagination never once dreamed of Betty Rubble as a plump, snarky lesbian. I’m sending you my therapist bills.

Happy B-day, Rosie!

Troubledly,
Josh Abraham