— Listicles —

Complete List of Nominees

Best Best Boy:

• Igor Jelen, xXx
• Alexander Griffiths, Adaptation.
• Arthur D. Whitehead, Spider-Man
• Malcolm Nefsky, Chicago
• Todd Piepenbrok, 8 Mile

Best Performance by Maggie Gyllenhaal:

• Drew Barrymore’s Sexy Roommate, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
• Cute Makeup Girl I’m in Love With, Adaptation.
• Hot Chick I Want to Nail on Top of a Hewlett-Packard Copier, Secretary
• Girl in a Movie I Didn’t See, but with Whom I Still Want to Sleep, 40 Days and 40 Nights

Best Supporting Rack:

• Natalie Portman as Padmé Amidala, her shirt conveniently torn in half, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
• Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, soaking wet and confused, Spider-Man
• Liv Tyler as Arwen, pointy ears and all, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
• Halle Berry as Jinx the black Bond babe, Die Another Day
• Monica Bellucci as Sylvia, the naked assassin hooker, Brotherhood of the Wolf

Best Moment That Creeped Me Out:

• Salma Hayak looks like my Uncle Manny, Frida
• Two hobbits in love, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
• Trying to swallow Tiffani Thiessen or Téa Leoni as a plausible love interest for Woody Allen, Hollywood Ending
• Kathy Bates stark nekkid, About Schmidt
• What’s unintentionally implied by the title, The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

Best Reason to Revoke a Previously Awarded Oscar:

• Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.
• Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.
• Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.
• Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.
• Snow Dogs, Cuba Gooding Jr.

Best Title Translated into Another Language:

• 8 Miglia, Italian.
• Rollen für Columbine, German
• Confessions d’un Esprit Dangereux, French
• Meu Casamento Grego Gordo Grande, Portuguese
• Muerte a Smoochy, Spanish