Clips from Upcoming Films I Don’t Want to See
George Washington Carver
[Starring Orlando Jones and Beyoncé Knowles. Directed by Orlando Jones.]
“Anyway, like I was sayin’, peanuts is the candy of the earth. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sauté it. You can gets ’em shelled, not shelled, salted, roasted, honey roasted … Dey’s uh, peanut butter, peanut brittle, peanut oil … peanut soup. Peanut samwich. Uh, peanut butter Fluff, pinochle, Mr. Peanut. That—that’s about it.”
“Gee-Dubya, you dropped yo’ peanut butter in mah chocolate!”
“Naw, baby, you got yo’ chocolate on mah peanut butter…”
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The Last Gecko
[Starring Arnold Schwarzeneger. Directed by Michael Bay.]
“You cannot blow up da volcano jungle island! Think of da species! Da SPEEEECIES!”
Ka-Boom!
“Noooo! Da last gecko! Geeeeeckooooooooooooooo!”
- - -
Misty Eyes in Memphis
[Starring Ashley Judd and Marisa Tomei. Directed by Nora Ephron.]
“Molly, I’m so depressed about all the diseases I’m slowly dying of, even though I still look like a supermodel.”
“I have an idea that’ll cheer you up, Hannah! Let’s jump up and down on the mattress in our pyjamas and sing pop songs loudly and off-key!”
“That’s why I love you.”
- - -
Hall & Oates
[Starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and John C. Reilly. Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.]
“What do you think of this: ‘Because your kiss, your kiss is on my calendar … ?’ Any good?”
“I really wish I had a moustache like yours.”
“Dude, you’re creeping me out.”
