Grandfather
I think about you when Autumn blesses us with the scent of freshly picked apples,
As it wafts through the crisp fall air.
I sense your spirit looking down upon me.
I can see your strong hands—
Well defined,
Masculine,
Yet capable of the gentlest touch.
I remember how your broad smile
Would warm the room.
But what I remember the most,
Is the way you would let a screaming fart
RRIIIIIIPPPPPPP
In public.
And proudly whisper,
For only you and I to hear,
Cha, Cha, Chaaaaaaaaaa … .
Nick Jezarian is clearly a superbly built creation resulting from the union of man, woman, and crustacean. Nick’s crustacean heritage contributes to his being mostly belligerent, constantly angry, yet always amused. Considering Nick’s criminal spelling and grammar habits, the fact that he is part of the Y.P.R. brain trust doesn’t say much about the site. Josh and Geoff have driven Nick’s writing to new levels as he sends his Guff to the staff in an elaborate binary code that can only be deciphered by the light of pixie dust. Nick is Y.P.R.’s resident hip-hop expert, as he owns three CDs and once stabbed 50 Cent. Nick’s favorite word is “word.”