Correspondence
As a photographer of the stars, I came in contact with a great deal of people. Here now, a portion of my correspondence with Angie Dickinson of Police Woman!:
June 23, 1977
Ms. Dickinson,
You are undoubtedly familiar with my work, as I am yours. I am a big fan of your television program Police Woman! My ex-wife Dyan Cannon and I would watch your show regularly until we had a series of ugly, confrontational shouting matches that led to our untimely splitting and my untimely loss of the third toe on my right foot. I am now attempting to make my way as a photographer of the stars. If you would be so kind to allow me, I would love to capture your image for the upcoming edition of Hustler magazine. I’ve been encouraged to inform you that all photographs are tastefully done. Larry [Flynt] would not allow otherwise.
I look forward to your response.
Humbly
Geoffrey Aloysius Wolinetz
–
July 3, 1977
Mr. Wolinetz,
Thank you for your kind note and kind words about my show. I would like to reciprocate those words and take it one step further. I attended your recent exhibition, Anatomy of My Penis, and was very impressed with your work, as well as your package. You are a man of extreme virility, no doubt, and I would love to engage in sexual congress with you at some point in the very near future. Perhaps you would like to escort me to the upcoming Dean Martin Celebrity Roast of Don Rickles. It should be a good time. Plus, it’s fun to stick toothpicks up Dean’s nose when he passes out drunk.
As for your offer, I would love to sit for a photo session. You name the time and place.
And please, call me Angie.
Angie
–
July 17, 1977
Angie,
Thank you for your kind note. Your offer has been accepted as well. I would love to attend the roast, as well as engage in a long session of lovemaking with you. I assure you, you will find it difficult to be pleased with another man following our time together. As for the photo shoot, how’s next Thursday?
Humbly,
G.A.W.
Angie Dickinson and I engaged in a brief but torrid affair and the pictures that we shot were deemed to risqué for Hustler. Typical.