For the record, this is about that big thing in the sky that comes out at night, not your ass.

Basically, life as we know it on this planet wouldn't exist if it weren't for the moon. In a sense, this would be a good thing. There'd be no war in Iraq, no bitterly divided country split along partisan lines and the constant threat of terrorism would be gone. Also, that fucking Billy Burke wouldn't be around anymore. God, that guy is fucking annoying, with his squeaky voice and those stupid fucking outfits he wears.

However, it would also be a very bad thing. There'd be no anything: no people, no dinosaurs, no tides, no plants, no apples, no clouds, no Saturday Night Live reruns (although E! has taken care of that), no limousines to take to prom, no scissors, no paste, no construction paper, no glitter, no arts and crafts projects and no kindergarten. In further bad news for humans, the moon is actually nearly 6 feet further away from Earth than it was the last time a human being set foot on it, due to orbit and gravitational issues that were read, but continue to escape a significantly limited intellect.

And don't forget: the moon turns ordinary human beings in werewolves, if they're genetically predisposed to such things and/or bitten by another werewolf.