June 2008 Archives

The entirety of French cinema is vastly overrated. The New Wave might have been groundbreaking in its day, but Breathless, Jules et Jim, et al, are tedious, toothless snoozers. Amélie is twee and cute and an hour longer than it needs to be. What’s the complete opposite of snooty and pretentious? How about: kickass kung-fu, swordplay galore, a monster on the loose, oodles of horror and gore, conspiracies left and right, and some steamy boudoir erotica. Set in Revolution-era France, there’s some terrifying lupine beast lurking in the shadows, eating hookers and peasants and scaring the shit out of everyone on screen and in the audience. And instead of talking about boring things in subtitles, almost every character engages in anachronistic kung-fu fighting in mud and rain, sped up and slow-mo’ed as per standard post-Matrix fight choreography. And, since all French films need a little tasteful nudity, the exquisite Ms. Monica Bellucci provides as an alluring Italian prostitute. UR: -31

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What Is It?
A bald, bespectacled, scrawny little twerp who makes electronic music. UR: -18

Why is it underrated?
O.K., look—Moby is not cool. He never was, even during those few years when he was the coolest thing around. (If you remember, geeky was in that summer.) Moby is that dorky, whiny kid with allergies and Coke-bottle glasses who gets picked last for kickball. And on the celebrity scale of annoying, he ranks right up there with Gilbert Gottfried. He’s a socio-political activist, which earns him two demerits automatically just for quietly judging and criticizing our slothful, wasteful lifestyles. He’s ballsy and pretentious enough to stuff his albums’ liner notes with ranty screeds about religion and meat and government. He’s a vegan (yuck) who owned a now defunct tea shop (oy) in New York’s East Village with the adorably aggravating name TeaNY (gag). And also he’s the most overexposed sell out in the history of the music industry.

At this point, you may be asking: So how and why is this skinny bald asshole underrated?

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What is it?
Under the assumption that football could be watched and enjoyed in the spring and summer time, the United States Football League was founded in 1982. Their goal was to provide a springtime alternative to compete directly with the NFL.UR: -15

Why is it underrated?
Like the Canadian Football League, the USFL wound up being a proving ground for a lot of future NFL stars. But more than that, it influenced a lot of future NFL rules and trends.

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What Is It?
A 1988 movie starring Bobby De Niro and Chuck Grodin as a grizzled ex-cop turned bail bondsman and an anxiety-riddled accountant on the run from the mob. You’re probably thinking “Charles Grodin is always playing tough ex-cops, and De Niro is totally typecast as an accountant.” Well, bucking convention, the two switch roles here, and have extraordinary comedic chemistry in the Oscar and Felix mold. Midnight Run also features a rock-solid supporting cast of character actors playing their archetypes to perfection: Yaphet Kotto as Alonzo Mosely, F.B.I.; Dennis Farina as slick Vegas gangster Jimmy Serrano; and Joey “Pants” Pantoliano as slimy bail bondsman Eddie Moscone. UR: -22.5

Why is it underrated?
Midnight Run is an everything movie: it’s a buddy flick and it’s a road movie; it is a witty, fast-talking comedy, and also a solid action caper; it’s The Odd Couple meets Planes, Trains, and Automobiles meets … um … Bullitt?

The plot goes like this:

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The Book

Underrated

UNDERRATED
The Yankee Pot Roast Book of Awesome Underappreciated Stuff
by Geoff Wolinetz,
Nick Jezarian,
and Josh Abraham



Published by
Citadel/Kensington Books.
On sale June 24, 2008.

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