LITERARY HUMBUG

Season’s Greetings

by
Stephen Loomis



Dear Sis,

Merry Christmas to you all!

It sure is nice getting your Christmas letters each year. Sisters should be close.

I sure am glad everything's fine with you all.

Vice President of Marketing. You must be so proud of that husband of yours. Jim always was my favorite Yankee. Ha-ha!

Two kids graduating Harvard. Jennifer in medical school and Jim Jr. in law. That’s real nice. I’ve heard good things about Harvard.

I only regret Momma didn’t make it to Christmas. She’d be so proud to the see the first of her grandkids who graduated school. I admit I still blame Poppa. I know he claims it was an accident, but he never should have been cleaning that old shotgun in the house anyway.

But, you know me, I always try to look on the bright side.

I have a lot to be thankful for too.

Bobby Ray has been sober for three weeks now. That’s a record for him. The bruises are starting to fade and I feel lucky this time. If he keeps it up, he'll be able to hold a job soon.

We’re expecting the results of Jason’s DNA test this week. You remember my grandbaby Jason? Our lawyer says DNA is short for Don’t kNow Anything, which is what all these guys say about the baby. But Luanne’s convinced she's got the list of possible fathers narrowed down to four boys and she swears one of them will have to pay. I sure hope she's right. It would be nice to get the trailer paid off and have a place to call our own.

We are confident that Junior will finally graduate high school this year. Of course, I know I’ve said that before, but, now that he's learned the alphabet, he's doing much better in school. Who would have thought that knowing just 21 letters would make such a difference?

It looks like this will be a great year for the twins too. Johnny's up for parole in September and, if Dwayne gets out of rehab by then, we may have a family Christmas this time next year. That would be nice after so long.

We'd love to have you for Christmas next year, but I'll understand if you don't want to. I guess Jim's still mad about what happened at the family reunion. Bobby Ray never would have broken his nose if he hadn't been drinking. I know Bobby Ray feels real bad about it. He'll never admit it, but I know he's sorry.

Well, Sis, it sure has been fine talking like this.

So you take care of yourself and we'll look forward to hearing from you again next year.

Your loving sister,
Mary Frances