LITERARY GARBOIL

Al-Jazeera Coverage of Ozzfest 2004

by
Mick Stingley


Ozzfest
The Meadows Music Theater
Hartford, Connecticut
July 10, 2004

9:23 p.m. Makka Time, 6:23 p.m. GMT
The multi-act touring carnival of amoral Western values, (named for the hapless drug-addled singer from the British heavy metal group “Black Sabbath”), unfurled the flags of decadence for the children of the Great Satan. The venue, just outside of Hartford, Connecticut, is curiously mere miles from the C.I.A.-funded educational institute that graduated many of the leaders of the United States, whose scandalous devotion to ransacking the Middle East for its precious riches at the expense of its great people has been unparalleled in history.

The sold-out event was filled with the disrespectful, godless children of the Devil, who drank freely of American alcohol and created an uproar for such “musicians” who performed their death dirges and aggressive sonic assaults masquerading as songs at levels as deafening as the air raids on Baghdad which has destroyed the lives of innocent children, and zealously subjugated the free people of the Sovereign State of Iraq. This celebration of the tolerance of wickedness and debauchery was obviously a thinly veiled pro-Zionist attempt to engender young minds to fall under the spell of tyranny and hate that has lined the pockets of greedy Texans and created a constant state of havoc and fear for the gentle, peace-loving inhabitants of the Middle East.

Flaunting their disrespect for the Koran, bands such as “Devildriver,” “Hatebreed,” and “Slipknot” created a cacophony of horror inciting near-riots and fanning the flames of hate in the name of Democracy. While children danced, many of their American counterparts in Iraq and Afghanistan faced strikes by rebel Mujahadin defending their homeland. With two stages and almost twenty bands, this “Coalition of the Willing” harassed, harangued and demoralized the soulless attendants during a near 12-hour occupation.

The infidels “Superjoint Ritual” captured the attention of the throng of rapacious young consumers of a Bush-led government with their inflammatory diatribes and pro-hashish banter, playing at excruciating levels unfit for human comprehension. Allah be praised for the gift of earplugs.

The homosexual-led “Judas Priest” cavorted about like the aging sinners they are, as vocalist Rob Halford delivered his trademark high-pitch womanly cry, screaming his overtly sexual lyrical tributes to male/male sexual fraternization (“Hell-Bent for Leather,” “Ram It Down”). The whelps of television-reared American thieves sang every verse word for word in what can only be construed as an insult to Mohammed, an affront to Islam, and cause for alarm around the world as the arrogant metallists flaunted their deviant behavior. They should be stoned to death by women and their bodies dragged through the streets by a crippled ass that is blind in both eyes.

The headliners, “Black Sabbath,” lumbered onstage to endless cheering that equaled the rallying of American dogs around their sinister president. In spite of the foulness of the music, and the inability of the singer to deliver any of his unpleasant songs intelligibly, the followers of this decrepit band of lunatics foolishly reveled in the spirit of the self-proclaimed “Prince of Darkness.” The band gave a lackluster performance that is worthy of mass beheadings.

Overall, Ozzfest represents the evils of the Western world, and the continued cultural erosion of the people of the United States. Better they should immerse themselves in the satisfying study of the Will of Allah that they might save their souls; rather than to die like the dogs they are when the Day of Reckoning comes. As it is likely that the Murdoch-led American television media will willfully neglect to cover this chaos in anything but a flattering light, it is clear that no amount of prayer can salvage the wreckage of their troubled souls.

The lone salvation from the evils of these festering boils in the ears of the Holy was Slayer, and they, of course, rocked.

Allah be praised.

Mick Stingley has been published in The New York Post, Hustler Busty, CLUB, Men's Fitness, and FHM. He is a regular contributor to KNAC.com as a reviewer/low-rent rock critic. He also writes artist bios for Atlantic Records and probably reads The New York Times way, way too much.