LITERARY GELATO

Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam Synopsize Nicholson Baker’s Checkpoint

bugs: Nyaah, what’s up, doc?

sam: I’m a-gonna kill that varmint president.

bugs: No you’re not.

sam: Yer doggone right I am. And no flea-bitten rabbit’s a-gonna stop me.

bugs: Oh yeah?

sam: Yeah. That no good mangy varmint’s gotta go.

bugs: You ain’t gonna do it. Flat characters can never kill anyone for real.

sam: Well, this time one of ’em’s a-gonna. Outta mah way, rabbit!

bugs: You can’t do it.

sam: Can too.

bugs: Can not.

sam: Can too.

bugs: Can not.

sam: Can too.

bugs: Can too.

sam: Can not.

bugs: Can too.

sam: Can not— Hey, just a doggone minute! We done got each other’s lines!

bugs: I still say you can’t do it.

sam: You just a-watch me, you moth-eaten critter. Tarnation! You took mah six-shooters!

bugs: Ain’t I a stinker? Come on, doc. We need to go back to Albuquerque.

George Motisher's schizophrenia presently manifests itself in conversations he invents among non-exsistent characters, and the placing of his various personalities in situations and places he has never actually been. He finds it extremely difficult to write his own biography, as one or another of his various selves always manages to interfere. One of them claims to have been published by Haypenny, another to have had an entirely different type of piece read on the radio. Orderlies keep him away from all sharp items, such as pens and pencils, as no one wishes to chance what he might do next. Somehow, though, he seems to get the occaissional story written and smuggled out of the institution, and doctors fear he will become an even greater menace to society, as one of his personalities is currently attempting to write a book.