Yankee Pot Roast


Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam Synopsize Nicholson Baker’s Checkpoint

George Motisher

bugs: Nyaah, what’s up, doc?

sam: I’m a-gonna kill that varmint president.

bugs: No you’re not.

sam: Yer doggone right I am. And no flea-bitten rabbit’s a-gonna stop me.

bugs: Oh yeah?

sam: Yeah. That no good mangy varmint’s gotta go.

bugs: You ain’t gonna do it. Flat characters can never kill anyone for real.

sam: Well, this time one of ’em’s a-gonna. Outta mah way, rabbit!

bugs: You can’t do it.

sam: Can too.

bugs: Can not.

sam: Can too.

bugs: Can not.

sam: Can too.

bugs: Can too.

sam: Can not.

bugs: Can too.

sam: Can not— Hey, just a doggone minute! We done got each other’s lines!

bugs: I still say you can’t do it.

sam: You just a-watch me, you moth-eaten critter. Tarnation! You took mah six-shooters!

bugs: Ain’t I a stinker? Come on, doc. We need to go back to Albuquerque.