Will Layman

Will Layman used to be wise beyond his years, but then the wisdom kind of slowed down and the years just kept coming and ... well, you get the picture. Now he is simply itchy beyond his years. When not furiously scratching, he teaches in Washington, D.C., plays the rock 'n' roll music, and pursues the pot of gold at the end of the Little Humor Pieces on the Internet Rainbow. Dig his work on National Public Radio, McSweeney's, Somewhat.org, and at http://home.comcast.net/~willlayman/wsb/html. Contact Will, if you dare, at WillLayman@comcast.net.

— Recycled but Re-Relevant —

Whatever Works

Will Layman

Woody's Sketches for His Next Four Pictures

— Fiction —

My Up-to-the-Minute Election Coverage

Will Layman

Welcome to my coverage of the crucial [insert name of random state here] Democratic primary.

— Fiction —

Super Producer Rick Rubin Mulls His Next Move

Will Layman

Rick Rubin, his trademark beard cascading to his lap, sits in the L.A. office of American Recordings, surrounded by gold records, Grammys, and empty Chinese takeout boxes. He grits his teeth and rests his chin in his folded, knuckled hands....

— Fiction —

If the Neoconservatives Had Been Dentists

Will Layman

Latest generation of laser-guided weapons available with "extra whitening formula."

— Fiction —

Woody's Sketches for His Next Four Pictures

Will Layman

Project One Working Title: H & H Old friends, both playwrights, sit in a Greenwich Village café and discuss their contrasting views of life--Wallace Shawn claims that life is essentially comic, while Tony Roberts sees life as overwhelmingly itchy....

— Non-Fiction —

"B.L.T.": A Review

Will Layman

The review copy of the "B.L.T." arrived at my house last week to no noticeable fanfare.

— Fiction —

If the Republicans Were Making GEICO Commercials

Will Layman

Dick Cheney: Mr. President, the latest poll numbers on Social Security reform are in. George W. Bush: Dick, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times--I don't care about the polls. The Lord is telling me how...

— Fiction —

Mootpoint

Will Layman

My Almost Interminable Conversation with Famed Literary Minimalist, Nicholson Baker August 2004 Sheraton Suites on the Hudson Weehawken, N.J. nick: Testing, testing . . . will: What’s with the tape? nick: Don’t you think it lends an air of...

— Fiction —

My Keynote Address for Tonight’s Family Dinner

Will Layman

While I acknowledge these weaknesses in our family, I am profoundly optimistic about our future. Ours is a great family because we have faith, we have unity, and we have TiVo.