Teddy Wayne
Teddy Wayne is a writer living in Manhattan. His work has also recently been published in McSweeney's and Time magazine. He runs a 4.3 40 and was a Southwest Conference First-Team selection at cornerback.
How Various Michael J. Fox Roles Would Be Different Had Rush Limbaugh Instead Been Cast
Family Ties Fresh-faced newcomer Rush Limbaugh gets his big break and beats out an unknown Michael J. Fox for the role he "was born to play"--Alex P. Keaton, a money-minded Reagan Republican raised by two former hippies. After several successful... 
Less Overtly Salacious but More Incriminating Republican IM Transcripts
RUMMY32: what r u wearing
GitmoGuy: standard-issue prison gear
GitmoGuy: standard-issue prison gear
Non-Celebrity Gawker Stalker
Saw Erica Richards, paralegal I went out on two dates with three years ago, outside Film Forum screening of "Tsotsi" on Sunday afternoon with scruffy Strokes-ish guy who looked like maybe her boyfriend.
Judy and Jim in Paris
Ooh, Jim, take a picture. No, not of the Tower, you dunce--we already have a million of those. Turn around. All the way. Use your eyes! Well, I'm not going to point it out for you. Yes, finally. Isn't that...
I Am Tom Cruise, and I Love Women
Oh, man, do I love Katie Holmes, who is a woman. And I also love women, in general.
The Weatherman's Weekend Forecast
Thanks, Bob. There's a lot going on in my life this weekend, so let's get started. Ex-girlfriend Donna is moving the rest of her stuff out as planned in an icy cold front Friday during rush hour, which is going...
The Night of Standup Comedy I Recently Saw, Reduced to Its Logical Abstractions, as per Freud’s Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious
The biological and social differences between men and women are numerous, and they cause us a great deal of sexual anxiety that can be relieved through humor.
Temping in Vatican City
Day 1 Donna at CareerLaunchers wakes me around nine with a job that just opened up. The catch is it's in Vatican City. I ask if that's in Queens, and she says no, Italy. As I'm wondering if it's worth...
Other Overwrought Acceptance Speeches
Thank You speeches from McDonald’s Employee of the Month, a Possible Publisher’s Clearinghouse winner, and the bearer of card with ten holes punched entitling patron to a free eleventh sandwich.
David Foster Wallace, TV Guide Synopsist
The infinite footnotist summarizes Two and a Half Men and Weekend at Bernie's II.
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